Fope's Blog

It's June a.k.a. birthday month and I'm taking stock of my life...again. I don't know how or why, well maybe I do, but January to April were incredibly lonely. I wasn't always alone, but it was just lonely. I had just gotten back from my Naija trip, during which I almost always had something to be excited about. Even basic stuff like the constant honking of  okada   guys had me alert and somewhat excited about life. Then I came back to Canada and moved 7 hours away from home. New city, new school, new phase of life (sorta), no more mother to whine about my day to, no more siblings to bug me, and then there was the super dry city...oh, and winter too. Basically, a whole lot of change and the result? Bam! I gained 15-20lbs and didn't even realize it, and I also got involved in some *sigh* let's call them avoidable things. Photo credit:  wolfgangfoto  via  Scandinavian  /  CC BY-ND Now, it's June and I've had really really good months so far, and

This week has been beautiful. I’ve loved almost every minute of it. My hair experiments have turned out pretty well. My skin - despite the attention-seeking dark spots- has been fantastic too. If I'm being real, it has nothing to do with the happenings of the week. I've been in a really content place. It's the kind that comes with being at complete peace with God. Even before realizing that the dictionary defined contentment (word for word) as being "in a state of peaceful happiness", I knew it was exactly how I felt. I absolutely love it here and I'm fighting fervently to protect this space.  As seen on my Instagram page The biggest thing I'm coming to terms with this week is the idea that my unworthy little self is somehow meant to radiate God... to reflect him… somehow. How?  I guess I know what that's meant to mean. I get it, but at the same time, I don't. Why would God even think me worthy to have a part in His grand scheme of th

Two whole months of not saying "pim!" Haha. If you grew up Nigerian, you should be familiar with the word "pim!" I’m throwing in the exclamation mark to replicate the strong feelings and high volume with which it is said. It's the sound your mom might have made when you sobbed at the end of yet another unnecessary ass whooping. Amidst heavily-filled tear ducts, sobs that felt like gasps for air, and a hand holding your lips in place, you might remember seeing her with her index finger over her pursed lips with a face sterner than any of your childhood demons saying the infamous "If I hear pim!” All in the bid to get you to swallow your sorrows and not express whatever betrayal or sadness had you in tears. You may have wondered for the umpteenth time why you were adopted if they had no need of you. Photo credit:  DFID - UK Department for International Development  via Foter.com  /  CC BY-NC-SA Even those "if I hear pim" m

I recently had a conversation with one of my friends, which led her to the conclusion that I wasn’t spiritual enough to date her brother. It was kind of a joke, but as we know, in every joke there’s at least an iota of truth.    So, it got me thinking. See, I self-identify as an open-minded person, at least in my circle of Nigerian, Christian friends, I’m a little bit of an anomaly. I have my own ideas about life, alcohol, sex, and other things I wonder about. No, it’s nothing that necessarily contradicts the Bible; it’s just a little too much for my people. Now, without even knowing the details of our conversation, you’re already thinking I’m not Christian enough to date you or your brother. Don’t worry I don’t want to date you either. On a serious note though, I was taken aback a little by my friend’s conclusion, mostly because I wondered if the things that made her come to that conclusion were the same ones being impediments to my ability to tell my non-Christian friends

I asked some married people about things they'd tell their single selves.  My exact words were, "I'm writting a blogpost on things you'd tell your unmarried self.  "Can you please give me one piece of advice you'd give your unarried self?"  They all didn't give me a response on the spot, so they thought this through. Here's what they had to say: Photo credit:  Shawn Harquail  via Foter.com  /  CC BY-NC 1) I would tell my unmarried self to  be patient and to ignore people's comments about me getting old . I would not just accept any man because I felt pressured. I would be determined to wait for God's best for my life not minding how old I was. 2) I would tell myself not to be rushed. I would say  marry someone you truly love, someone who is ready to die for you (if need be)" . 3) I would definitely  investigate a potential partner thoroughly.  If she claims to have a degree, I want to know how true that is. I would get t