Two whole months of not saying "pim!"

Two whole months of not saying "pim!"

Haha. If you grew up Nigerian, you should be familiar with the word "pim!" I’m throwing in the exclamation mark to replicate the strong feelings and high volume with which it is said. It's the sound your mom might have made when you sobbed at the end of yet another unnecessary ass whooping. Amidst heavily-filled tear ducts, sobs that felt like gasps for air, and a hand holding your lips in place, you might remember seeing her with her index finger over her pursed lips with a face sterner than any of your childhood demons saying the infamous "If I hear pim!” All in the bid to get you to swallow your sorrows and not express whatever betrayal or sadness had you in tears. You may have wondered for the umpteenth time why you were adopted if they had no need of you.

Photo credit: DFID - UK Department for International Development viaFoter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

Even those "if I hear pim" moments at best lasted for minutes. So you may wonder why yours truly is going on month three of saying nothing.  One excuse is that my head has been foggy, so foggy that I'm actually beginning to consider liking Trump and his stance on many things. Or maybe it's just the realization that he is as close to being the next president of the United States as my belly rolls are to each other. That’s pretty close.

So about my absence, here’s why I think I’ve been MIA. I realized that I've been in a bubble. I mean, my bubble is safe and it has rules, so it must be nice right? Yes, it is. But I stepped out of it long enough to see that I’ve merely been in an enclosed portion of a much larger space and that my assertions about life might only hold true in my bubble. But then another month came and I started to see that we all are in bubbles of our own. Nigerian law will continue to see how much homosexuality can unravel its moral fibre while American law will care more about environmental damage. I think my point is that we each have our own truths, truths that may be ridiculous in other worlds, to other people, to ourselves even (if we didn’t hold them so rigidly?). I want to hear what y'all have to say about this one...does it make sense to you?

There have also been the wonderings about political correctness. Zara's rape video had me thinking about that one.  A sizeable portion of Nigerian Twitter, including myself, felt like she just needed to be educated about rape; basically, we blamed her incredible views on ignorance. Then some days later, it dawned on me that like her victim-blaming counterparts, she just might be unable to wrap her head around a world where men can be held fully accountable for their sexual actions. And so, their politically incorrect truth (that women are asking for it) still is their truth.  

I'd have loved to end this rantisode with a side of thick Igbo accent saying something like "it is well", but with the complete package. In there, there would be a long sigh, some hand-clapping motion that mimics dusting one's hands, getting up and adjusting my imaginary double wrapper, and calling on one of the children nearby to clear the drinks that I used to entertain my guests while they read my post. But reality be like: edit this thing and gerrarahere. 

Till next time!

Keep saying pim, Donald Trump don't got no filter and look who's almost President...if he can, so can you...I think.