I asked some married people about things they'd tell their single selves. My exact words were, "I'm writting a blogpost on things you'd tell your unmarried self. "Can you please give me one piece of advice you'd give your unarried self?" They all didn't give me a response on the spot, so they thought this through. Here's what they had to say:
Photo credit: Shawn Harquail viaFoter.com / CC BY-NC |
1) I would tell my unmarried self to be patient and to ignore people's comments about me getting old. I would not just accept any man because I felt pressured. I would be determined to wait for God's best for my life not minding how old I was.
2) I would tell myself not to be rushed. I would say marry someone you truly love, someone who is ready to die for you (if need be)".
3) I would definitely investigate a potential partner thoroughly. If she claims to have a degree, I want to know how true that is. I would get to know people who have known her for an extended period of time (friends, family, neighbours...e.t.c). I would be interested in knowing what her family's history of mental illness is. I'd tell myself to make a well-informed decision, such that if I end up marrying her, it would be that I did so inspite of all that I knew. Life is already full of suprises, no need to add on extras.
4) I'd be more honest about everything.
5) I'd tell my unmarried self to serve God more, trust Him more, build more faith in him and to commit myself to Him even more. My reason for this would be that I've realized that God is the only constant and permanent thing. He is dependable and will take great care of me and my life here on earth and after this world. Every other thing is ephemeral.
6) I'd tell my unmarried self to take care of myself more. Look good more, love myself more and beleive in myself more. I say this because, I beleive if you don't do these things for yourself, no one else does.
7) Reach out to others more. I'd say learn not to be an island, do things with others and for others more. You don't realize how much time you have as a single person, until you have all the extra responsibilities accompanied with marriage and family life.
You probably know that I like to comment about everyhting, but I'm going to try restrict myself a little today. I loved all that they had to say, and I've been doing some already (more of 5 and 6 in 2016), but I hope to do more of 7.
N.B: I didn't insert these quotes verbatim as they were given, due to grammatical errors and some gaps in reasoning. However, because these were all people I know personally, I knew enough about their background to fill in the gaps so as to give you (the reader) a clearer picture. I plan on redoing this with a more representative sample, i.e, not just people in my life. I also hope to expand my blog to have a full-blown relationship section in the super near future. Please watch this space for all of that! :)
Number 4's my favorite. Dishonesty, even in its subtlest form, can wreck a relationship. Have to be with someone you can be totally honest with, no matter what.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! Trust is built on honesty...and we all know how messy things get without trust.
Deletenice one fopsy. number 3 is so important. :)
ReplyDeleteLol I know right. People seem to be getting shadier by the day...gotta at least do your homework 😪
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