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Why "Be Yourself" is Terrible Advice

I recently had a conversation with one of my friends, which led her to the conclusion that I wasn’t spiritual enough to date her brother. It was kind of a joke, but as we know, in every joke there’s at least an iota of truth.    So, it got me thinking. See, I self-identify as an open-minded person, at least in my circle of Nigerian, Christian friends, I’m a little bit of an anomaly. I have my own ideas about life, alcohol, sex, and other things I wonder about. No, it’s nothing that necessarily contradicts the Bible; it’s just a little too much for my people. Now, without even knowing the details of our conversation, you’re already thinking I’m not Christian enough to date you or your brother. Don’t worry I don’t want to date you either. On a serious note though, I was taken aback a little by my friend’s conclusion, mostly because I wondered if the things that made her come to that conclusion were the same ones being impediments to my ability to tell my non-Christian friends

7 Things Married Folks Said They'd Tell Their Unmarried Selves.

I asked some married people about things they'd tell their single selves.  My exact words were, "I'm writting a blogpost on things you'd tell your unmarried self.  "Can you please give me one piece of advice you'd give your unarried self?"  They all didn't give me a response on the spot, so they thought this through. Here's what they had to say: Photo credit:  Shawn Harquail  via Foter.com  /  CC BY-NC 1) I would tell my unmarried self to  be patient and to ignore people's comments about me getting old . I would not just accept any man because I felt pressured. I would be determined to wait for God's best for my life not minding how old I was. 2) I would tell myself not to be rushed. I would say  marry someone you truly love, someone who is ready to die for you (if need be)" . 3) I would definitely  investigate a potential partner thoroughly.  If she claims to have a degree, I want to know how true that is. I would get t

Spiritual Orgasms

Photo credit:  San Diego Shooter  via  Foter.com  / CC BY-NC-ND   Picture this: I'm at a new church, my first young adult gathering. Aka, the best place to be judged for coolness, how spiritual (or not) you are, and the best time to leave a good first impression or even catch potential bae's attention. All is going well and no one is starting too much at the new girl. A simple question is asked, "who has ever been to a young adult conference", and as you may know (hello long time blog readers!) I have been to quite a few of those. Remember  this  and  this ? So, I eagerly raise my hand and proceed to share my experiences. I talk about how different my experience might be from what they have in mind for their upcoming conference (a one day conference). Then I go on to say that all the ones I've been to have taken me out of town, sometimes to rural (internet-less) areas. The part about not having Internet access caught their attention - it's 2016,

Checking in with 2016

You know, just a Friday night Netflix and chilling, and thinking of launching a YouTube career. But boy, that thing is more work than it appears to be.  Isn't this picture just stunning? It's from  here I have a pretty nice camera, I know lighting is your best friend, I also know video editing is to awesome videos as packaging is to any product. But what is knowledge if you're not going to act on it? Well, I actually did act on it; I shot my first video. It was a nice ramble and I guess you could say it had some potential. However, as I re-watched it six hours later, I realized that I roll my eyes upward when I'm talking and thinking at the same time. So in the video,  I look slightly lost and unsure of myself. But hey, Rome wasn't built in one day, so maybe there'll be a second shot and third, or however many it takes to nail this thing. Or maybe I'll just add a tab on here and do with my blog, what I had hoped to do

You are Enough.

It may sound silly, but I've only now fully realized that just by virtue of being mine, my story counts.  For someone who has a personal blog, a blog that isn't necessarily centered around her taste in fashion, or faith or some particular interest,  you'd think I would already know that my story has to count. People actually take the time to read it and some enjoy it.  Although, that's no measure of the validity of my story, it should have been a reminder that just being uniquely me is enough. But somehow it still takes grand revelations to bring this fact to consciousness. Thinking of the books and blogs that have captured my heart in the last few months, I've realized that they've all been heavily-laced with personalities of the authors that make it feel like I know them. It's like they're telling me about something that's really important to them and why it is. And because I like what I'm hearing (or reading), because there's somethin