Pride isn't always big and grand or loud. And I think this subtle kind has to be the worst. It's the kind that makes me see her mismatched eyebrows before I see her. It's also the kind that makes me hang on so much to the error in the order of his words, that I end up missing the point of what he was saying.
That's what Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth calls it. On some days I call it telling it as it is, on other days I sandwich it between cozy good words. But that's like handing someone a blade sandwich; nicely cushioning the blades between bread doesn't make it less cruel. A sharp, critical tongue is one way to show pride, but there's also the habit of interrupting people mid-speech, the need to control outcomes, and whole list you can self-diagnose against.
I haven't quite nailed it yet, so this isn't a here's my "victory over pride" self-help post. But here's where I am now, and what's been working.
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- Fast something. I can't really fast food for extended periods - like the regular full day fasts, because they leave me pretty unproductive and sad. Once in a while though, I do it, because man cannot live by bread alone. But when I know I need to deal with a negative part of me, I find something just as pleasurable to abstain from (it might even be directly related to the issue being dealt with). I do social media fasts occasionally. During the day, when I find myself missing Instagram, I remember why I'm fasting and I pray about it. So loose some pleasure, and gain a measure of control over the nasty habit.
- Mix up your circle and get practice with assuming there's something to learn from everyone at the table...especially the ones that don't look the part. Sometimes, it takes seeing a new perspective to realize how tiny your perspective is. Gustave Flaubert said “Travel makes one modest. You see what a tiny place you occupy in the world.” I'm saying, making unusual friends has the same effect, you see how much more there is to life.
- Talk to God about it. This one overall reduced the frequency of me thinking witty comebacks, and even noticing things to be critical about. In some ways, it was like I became numb to a great deal of faults. We (God and I) are still working on training my face not to say the things my tongue has withheld, but there's been progress here.
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I encourage you to check out Nancy's full list of evidences of pride here. Listening to her talk about it on revive our hearts, really made me reflect on my life, even after all I thought I'd learned about myself.
Do you have something to add to this list, something that helps you stay humble maybe? Let's hear it in the comments!
Until next time,
Fopsy
Love does play a role, I think. It covers a multitude of faults. It makes us seek knowledge of a person, ignoring their glaring "imperfections". That's why Jesus wasn't too proud to save us.
ReplyDeleteTimely post, thanks!
You're right about ignoring glaring imperfections. Certainly love plays a role,but I find that I have to train myself to really love. In my head I love everyone, but in practice it's that I love people who are relatable, people who aren't so drastically different from me. But I'm working on that too, and it's getting better with conscious practice. Thanks for reading!
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