As written on 15/01/2014 (Re-published on 17/09/2015):
After a really interesting human sexuality lecture, I wrote this post as a teenager who asked his parents what sex was like when they were growing up. Most of the words are written the way I understood what my prof was saying, please feel free to 'comment' any modification to this.
Because someone read this post and had a very strong and unanticipated negative reaction to it, here's my disclaimer: I found this to be an interesting historical bit, it's from some time in the 60s (I think). I viewed it as an educational and historical reading. I am quite comfortable talking about unconventional topics. There was no spirit guiding me to see the words as something to apply to my life, as the Holy Spirit does when a Christian reads the Bible. The post is really not that deep, but if sex behaviours across cultures isn't your topic, feel free to skip this and browse through the rest of my blog. Even though I've already edited it to better suit the conservative members of my audience. If however you read the post, please I'd like to hear what you thought of it in general, especially your first reactions. Thank you :) .
Dad
Where I'm from sex was popular and was something everyone talked about freely- children and adults. As kids we got encouraged to participate in sexual play with other kids. It wasn't at all a big deal. It was as okay as it is now for children to play with sand or on swings.
Sometime close to our first ejaculation, a right of passage was held for us, signifying our transition to adulthood. For the girls, it was at menarche (their first menstrual period). During this passage ceremony, a super-incision was done on the penis. It was done by a 'specialist'. Typically the event was facilitated by ones father. It's a pretty lengthy process to detail, but in summary, the incision was done close to the head of the penis all the way down to the pubic area. The result was a lap-like foreskin on the penis. The whole process was thought to enhance the sexual experience. One of our many unfounded beliefs.
After this genital modification, we were put through a strict diet and had no female relations while the bandaged penis healed. The specialist or expert then taught us how to perform cunnilingus, how to hold off on ejaculation so that the woman too would experience multiple orgasms, how to orally stimulate the breast and things like that. Now, before this right of passage, we'd been exposed to sex play and masturbation (and it was encouraged). But one's first sexual intercourse came after the right of passage. Girls had their own right of passage too, some tutoring on hip and pelvic movements to enhance their sexual experience, but that's all I bothered to ask about. After this time boys and girls were encouraged to have lots of sex with multiple partners. The menstrual cycle wasn't related to pregnancy, we thought pregnancy was just a result of having lots of sex with one partner. So when a girl got pregnant, it wasn't shameful. She just spoke to her father about it and they figured out which man she'd had the most sex- he had to be the father- then they got married. Abstinence from sex was looked upon with disdain, as virgins were seen as people who could not provide sexual pleasure. Yeah it was quite different back in my days.
Mum
Where I am from, speaking of anything even remotely sexual was wrapped with feelings of guilt and sinfulness. Even a thing as simple as "she's pregnant" was a taboo. Nobody ever gave any sex education. Well, boys were boys and older boys talked to younger boys about it. And even when they weren't told, they watched the animals on the farms and learned just enough to keep the population growing. We girls were taught to submit to our husbands' animalistic tendencies, so as to obey God's command to "be fruitful and multiply".
Of course, we didn't get to court or date! I hear Christians today have a hard time categorizing their relationships. We didn't have that issue. We didn't get married for love. The church kept records of the people and hooked us up, maybe so that we wouldn't marry our relatives. We got married so that there would be more farm hands and so that children could be born. It wasn't normal to enjoy sex or for a woman to experience orgasm; to experience pleasure in sex was to be deviant. Men believed sex would drain them of their energy. So if they had important matters to attend to- like if they had to go to the farm the next day-they abstained from sex.
Nudity in public? We weren't even allowed to bath naked. Babies had their bath once a week in full nudity, because they were babies. Adults on the other hand, only washed the parts that weren't covered by our petticoats. Even sex was done with clothes on. The underwear was shifted enough to allow for penetration. And of course, missionary style was all there was to sex style.
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Interesting eh? One other culture we discussed had this thing where sex was spoken of in food terms; ejaculation was seen as the penis vomiting into the vagina, genitals were said to be hungry for their food. Lol. I want to say 'weird', but I can only imagine what our ways seem like to them. Even that "our" may just be my Christian-Nigerian-Canadian- Globally minded way of thinking.
I ditched my writing challenge, because it got boring. Day 6-10 weren't things I was interested in writing about. I however read Chimamanda Adichie's "Americanah", and I hope to review it in the near future.
Thanks for stopping by!
After a really interesting human sexuality lecture, I wrote this post as a teenager who asked his parents what sex was like when they were growing up. Most of the words are written the way I understood what my prof was saying, please feel free to 'comment' any modification to this.
Because someone read this post and had a very strong and unanticipated negative reaction to it, here's my disclaimer: I found this to be an interesting historical bit, it's from some time in the 60s (I think). I viewed it as an educational and historical reading. I am quite comfortable talking about unconventional topics. There was no spirit guiding me to see the words as something to apply to my life, as the Holy Spirit does when a Christian reads the Bible. The post is really not that deep, but if sex behaviours across cultures isn't your topic, feel free to skip this and browse through the rest of my blog. Even though I've already edited it to better suit the conservative members of my audience. If however you read the post, please I'd like to hear what you thought of it in general, especially your first reactions. Thank you :) .
Dad
Where I'm from sex was popular and was something everyone talked about freely- children and adults. As kids we got encouraged to participate in sexual play with other kids. It wasn't at all a big deal. It was as okay as it is now for children to play with sand or on swings.
Sometime close to our first ejaculation, a right of passage was held for us, signifying our transition to adulthood. For the girls, it was at menarche (their first menstrual period). During this passage ceremony, a super-incision was done on the penis. It was done by a 'specialist'. Typically the event was facilitated by ones father. It's a pretty lengthy process to detail, but in summary, the incision was done close to the head of the penis all the way down to the pubic area. The result was a lap-like foreskin on the penis. The whole process was thought to enhance the sexual experience. One of our many unfounded beliefs.
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| Photo credit- http://www.developmentconcepts.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Hands-at-Work-Rick-Fornaro.jpg (17/09/2015) |
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| Photo Credit- https://www.pinterest.com/explore/salem-witch-trials/ (17/09/2015) |
Mum
Where I am from, speaking of anything even remotely sexual was wrapped with feelings of guilt and sinfulness. Even a thing as simple as "she's pregnant" was a taboo. Nobody ever gave any sex education. Well, boys were boys and older boys talked to younger boys about it. And even when they weren't told, they watched the animals on the farms and learned just enough to keep the population growing. We girls were taught to submit to our husbands' animalistic tendencies, so as to obey God's command to "be fruitful and multiply".
Of course, we didn't get to court or date! I hear Christians today have a hard time categorizing their relationships. We didn't have that issue. We didn't get married for love. The church kept records of the people and hooked us up, maybe so that we wouldn't marry our relatives. We got married so that there would be more farm hands and so that children could be born. It wasn't normal to enjoy sex or for a woman to experience orgasm; to experience pleasure in sex was to be deviant. Men believed sex would drain them of their energy. So if they had important matters to attend to- like if they had to go to the farm the next day-they abstained from sex.
Nudity in public? We weren't even allowed to bath naked. Babies had their bath once a week in full nudity, because they were babies. Adults on the other hand, only washed the parts that weren't covered by our petticoats. Even sex was done with clothes on. The underwear was shifted enough to allow for penetration. And of course, missionary style was all there was to sex style.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Interesting eh? One other culture we discussed had this thing where sex was spoken of in food terms; ejaculation was seen as the penis vomiting into the vagina, genitals were said to be hungry for their food. Lol. I want to say 'weird', but I can only imagine what our ways seem like to them. Even that "our" may just be my Christian-Nigerian-Canadian- Globally minded way of thinking.
My source for this post would be my human sexuality class notes, which were dictated. But if you want to know more about these cultures, google something on sex in Inis Beag and the works of Donald Marshall on the Mangaians. That should be helpful. For the last set of people (the sex-in food terms people), search for the Mehinaku people.
I ditched my writing challenge, because it got boring. Day 6-10 weren't things I was interested in writing about. I however read Chimamanda Adichie's "Americanah", and I hope to review it in the near future.
Thanks for stopping by!
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