Skip to main content

Things Fall Apart?


It was first the normal seconds of confusion that happen when you wake up in an unfamiliar place; how did I get here? Why does my body feel like a stranger's? What happened to my daughters. Oh no. Thinking about daughters brought all the memories back...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The problems started about six months into the marriage. We'd had a very eventful honeymoon and we carried it over when we got back from Dubai. We'd made no plans to hold off on kids, so Dink just couldn't get why I wasn't pregnant. He was never the crazy "I can't wait to be a daddy" kinda guy, heck! He’d once said that  kids were a barrier to living 'the good life.'  I was definitely furious at his statement and we fought for a bit. But that was before we got married, so when he started getting interested in kids after marriage, I thought maybe the husband thing had some 'Daddiness' to it.

Whatever the case, I wasn't pregnant and hadn't thought too much of it, as it had just been six months. Things happen right? Babies could want to take their time too. Or maybe God was just busy sculpting us the best baby ever.
I had to cope somehow. I could have gone grey with worry but I chose to see the the glass as half full. There was no need to focus on the emptiness. But Dink wouldn't have any of my optimistic crap. Not at all.

He started out slow and maybe even sweet. He'd come home waving a box of chocolate my way saying, "Babe, did the red sea part for this month?" trying to find out whether I was on my period and if I'd be able to eat chocolate, since I believed they worsened my cramps.  And when I replied in the negative  he'd wink and say "looks like I'll be eating them all, no need to worsen your cramps, baby."
 And then he went from asking about my period to wondering if I was taking pills, and then to talks about how he already got his sperm count checked and then hinting that I might be the problem.

I wasn't even mad. I was pretty happy that he'd had a change of heart and was warming up to prospect of having kids. Win-Win! But the big loss came on my birthday. Earlier, when I was a kind of late, which for my ever-timely period is huge. I hadn't said anything to Dink. I knew how sensitive the baby issue had become; I figured a false alarm wouldn't help matters.

Even when I was sure I was pregnant, I still didn't talk.

_________________________________________________________________________

Hey! In case you haven't been following, it's the second part of a story I'm writing. See here for the first part: http://4pceez.blogspot.ca/2013/03/i-promise-i-promise.html


Thanks for reading!

                                                                                           RIP Chinua Achebe



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

I love hearing from you! Go on, introduce yourself and say something; nothing is too random to say on here.

Popular posts from this blog

Hey Lil Troublemaker.

Photo credit:  looseends  via  Foter.com  /  CC BY-NC-SA Freezing as usual. I've gone through today's edition of "school sucks, especially in the Winter". I have a midterm anyway, so there's no way around school today. No point whining. There's a 3-minute bus for the 7minute walk I have to make to my next class.  When the roads are icy and slippery (like today) and man's greatest fear is becoming 'Humpty-Dumty the second', that walk becomes more10-ish minutes. So, of course I'll take the bus! *Whew!*. I made the bus.  To calm my raging nerves - because I'm pretty tensed about my Stats midterm - I read the cover page of Metro newspaper. The story I first see is something about wheelchairs not getting priority over strollers. Lol? Who wouldn't know that? On second thought, it wouldn't be on the front page of the paper if something hadn't happened. Apparently, some bus driver had told someone with a toddler to get off t...
7 comments
Continue Reading

The Ontario Christian and 2015 sex-ed changes

I don’t know if it’s too many classes in sociology of religion, human sexuality, and the likes of these that have made my opinions significantly different from friends with whom I share other opinions. But since I am yet to find a ground comfortable enough for my Jesus loving self and freedom of expression celebrating side to stand, I write. One of our pastors was /is pretty furious at the recent changes to Ontario’s sex education laws. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, let’s take a moment to update you . When it finally loads, please scroll down to view the juice of it. Now that you get the idea, my question to my friends has been what makes this wrong from a non-Christian POV? Given that the entire population is not Christian, why would you expect the laws not to favor the non-Christians as well? If you absolutely detest homosexuality as a religious command and have a religious responsibility to train up your child in the way of God, I expect that you would teach y...
Post a Comment
Continue Reading

Acknowledging Privilege

You know one thing that comes with looking at old things with new eyes? Interesting discoveries!   For those of you who do not know, I have been in Nigeria for thirteen days and I will be here till the end of the year. So, I’m writing about what it feels like to go back home after half a decade. I already said in my last post that everything seems familiar except that it isn’t. And by that I meant that I’m now noticing things that have probably always been there, but had managed to go unnoticed. Every time I notice something, I wonder if I'm thinking and acting like a foreigner in my own motherland. It's a weird feeling. But it is what it is; I've been out of touch.  Let's move to today's story. One night last week, Oye knocked on my door because she had been sent to get something called a “ruler”.  Oye is the amazing maid, who really has been my right hand person. She's been helping me relearn the art of crossing Lagos streets, perfecting my haggli...
8 comments
Continue Reading