Doing this life thing

Guess who recently graduated?! 🙋🙋 I did! It's still not feeling real.
Well, it's been almost a month since I wrote this post, so I guess some of the feelings might be outdated. I've gone from being really excited, to being an emotional wreck, and to many points in-between those two. Nonetheless, glory be to God without whom nothing would be possible! I'd say, I'm learning the whole process of trusting God! It's no walk in the park I tell you. I could do an entire rantisode (episode of pure rants) about that, but I'll spare you. Actually, I won't.

#Classof2015

For the most part of the year it's been incredibly difficult to do life. If you know me you'd probably find that a little weird, because I'd consider my self a care-free, life-loving person. Still, it's been difficult to be authentically me. It's just been hard to be happy being myself...if that makes any sense. It was difficult not to compare myself with my friends who were getting into law school, finding cool jobs and not being anxious about their future. I'd say it was even scary at certain points thinking about the next year, the next five or ten. I just became so overwhelmed with thoughts of everything and nothing! 

Now that I'm much saner, it all seems ridiculous. Really, why would someone spend that amount of time thinking of things over which she has no control ? It's unreasonable eh? Yeah. But not when you're in the moment, clouded by the lies of fear, and the "what-if's" of doubt. I spilled my heart out to every friend that I thought cared to hear. In retrospect, I definitely overdid it. But still, God used my godly friends to remind me of His sufficiency! Sharing with my friends at similar life stages made me realize that I wasn't alone in the way I felt. Although mine still felt a notch deeper than theirs, it was amazing how reassuring it was to hear someone else say, "You're not alone on that, I'm going through that too".

My older friend who graduated a while back said he'd learned to ask for eyes to see the good in every life stage. Along side being the thief of joy, comparison, is useless... except if it's somehow motivating you to be better. I had another friend tell me, "It's not like your plan is final. You don't even know that tomorrow is a given, so why are you so obsessed about the future?". I really was obsessed! Truth be told, on some days I still am. My go-to podcast, "boundless", was also pretty awesome at reassuring me of the goodness of God and the promises He's given in the Bible for these types of situations. So I had nuggets off wisdom out should I say "faith fuelers" being thrown my way through most of it.

Finally, after most of the fog of worry cleared, I started to see the many many ways in which God has proven himself faithful throughout the Bible and even in my life. It really is true that hindsight is 20/20; things appear much clearer when you look back. So if you're going through a weird phase of anxiety, doubt, jealousy, fear or the likes of these, my advice to you would be that you please feed your faith. Nothing fights fears more than faith does. Get rid of the things that are feeding your fears - take days off social media (the entire internet even), actively fight negative thoughts, distance yourself from certain kinds of people (even parents whose fears could feed yours!) and most of all encourage yourself! The last part has to be done in God. He's the only one who knows tomorrow, who holds the final authority, who keeps His word unfailingly. Who or what could match up to that? Friends are awesome, but most of the 'rock bottom moments' of confusion and anxiety occur in solitude. So, you're going to need to learn tactics to bring yourself back up!

I figured this image of the Canadian Centennial Flame (this thing where fire and water co-exist simultaneously) would be a great depiction of the kind of odd things that I worried could happen.

Practically, evaluate your fears. Feel free to pick a friend who's grounded in God and His word to answer these with you: Are these fears valid (how likely is this thing to happen, how much out of proportion have blown this issue)?  Are there things I can do to alleviate the situation? What am I currently doing that can fight/feed these fears? Also, match each fear up to a Bible passage and trust that God is greater!

Not for a moment will God forsake you! And yes, you can quote Him on that! 

- Fopsy