Skip to main content

Inemesit

Hey Guys! So I attempted to write a blog post in Pidgin English and I like it! I'll try to translate it to proper English later if anyone wants me to. :)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Na wah o! How e be say 4 o'clock never knack since morning!? No be say I wan make madam come back, but I just wan make Sunday reach.
Why I want make Sunday reach fast fast? E get this bobo wey dey do protocol for church, e foooiiine ehnn!  Nah him I dey look last week wey pastor talk say "Look how focused that young lady is. She's just soaking in all of the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ!" I pray say na sermon go make me dey happy like that!

This oga protocol wey I dey talk, e wan use style resemble my Obong wey leave me go Port. Him go do houseboy work for there like two years before them carry me too come Lagos find work. Him talk say, when he reach Port Harcourt  he go write me letter like them dey do for the oyinbo film we watch for Aunty Edet house.

Chai! Obong do me strong thing o! The day wey he suppose travel go Port, I dey cry tell am say dem Port Harcout women go enter hin head, say he go soon forget me. He come talk say I be him Inemesit, the only sweetheart wey him get, say na mi wey first make him plantain stand, say na only me he fit love so that kin forget-forget thing wey I dey talk no fit happen. The talk wey he talk sweet me, so I no tink am again. I just tell am sey make him dey write me letter plenty, say make him do fast, come back come marry me. He talk say make my mind no waka too much, say make I no hear the 'tory wey my friend Janet dey talk consign big city boys and the things wey dem dey do, say him Iniobong Ekpoh no fit forget me hin only Inemesit.


Na that same Inemesit  I be, wey he never send me anything since three years now. I don dey Lagos for over one year now, e be like say me too I go find new plantain be that. Me sef I no be mumu; I no dey slack. Na Obong wey dey my head, wey no allow me think better thing. The one month wey we don move come madam new house, I don dey look the corners wey them fine bobos dey play ball. All I suppose do now na to find blade take cut that white round neck wey madam dash me last month, go fetch water near the field wey dem dey play and come behave as if I no know how water take pour me. Dem go no sey Emekemeabasi Asuquo III don land Lagos! Dem go talk my 'tory carry back reach Obong wherever him dey. Make him self no say I no dey slack! Inemesit my yansh!

-------------------------------------

"E--me-ke-me-abasi!!! which kin shit you dey shit wey the whole house come scatter like this?"

Ha! na madam just throway pidgin give me?! Wetin do the oyinbo degree wey she dey use scatter my brain since all these days? Wey she go dey talk say na Queen's English she dey speak. Abi na my shit change Queen to pidgin..abeg make I use am laugh small jare!!

Comments

Post a Comment

I love hearing from you! Go on, introduce yourself and say something; nothing is too random to say on here.

Popular posts from this blog

Acknowledging Privilege

You know one thing that comes with looking at old things with new eyes? Interesting discoveries!   For those of you who do not know, I have been in Nigeria for thirteen days and I will be here till the end of the year. So, I’m writing about what it feels like to go back home after half a decade. I already said in my last post that everything seems familiar except that it isn’t. And by that I meant that I’m now noticing things that have probably always been there, but had managed to go unnoticed. Every time I notice something, I wonder if I'm thinking and acting like a foreigner in my own motherland. It's a weird feeling. But it is what it is; I've been out of touch.  Let's move to today's story. One night last week, Oye knocked on my door because she had been sent to get something called a “ruler”.  Oye is the amazing maid, who really has been my right hand person. She's been helping me relearn the art of crossing Lagos streets, perfecting my haggli

The Ontario Christian and 2015 sex-ed changes

I don’t know if it’s too many classes in sociology of religion, human sexuality, and the likes of these that have made my opinions significantly different from friends with whom I share other opinions. But since I am yet to find a ground comfortable enough for my Jesus loving self and freedom of expression celebrating side to stand, I write. One of our pastors was /is pretty furious at the recent changes to Ontario’s sex education laws. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, let’s take a moment to update you . When it finally loads, please scroll down to view the juice of it. Now that you get the idea, my question to my friends has been what makes this wrong from a non-Christian POV? Given that the entire population is not Christian, why would you expect the laws not to favor the non-Christians as well? If you absolutely detest homosexuality as a religious command and have a religious responsibility to train up your child in the way of God, I expect that you would teach y

Hey Lil Troublemaker.

Photo credit:  looseends  via  Foter.com  /  CC BY-NC-SA Freezing as usual. I've gone through today's edition of "school sucks, especially in the Winter". I have a midterm anyway, so there's no way around school today. No point whining. There's a 3-minute bus for the 7minute walk I have to make to my next class.  When the roads are icy and slippery (like today) and man's greatest fear is becoming 'Humpty-Dumty the second', that walk becomes more10-ish minutes. So, of course I'll take the bus! *Whew!*. I made the bus.  To calm my raging nerves - because I'm pretty tensed about my Stats midterm - I read the cover page of Metro newspaper. The story I first see is something about wheelchairs not getting priority over strollers. Lol? Who wouldn't know that? On second thought, it wouldn't be on the front page of the paper if something hadn't happened. Apparently, some bus driver had told someone with a toddler to get off t